I once had no idea what I believed about God. I wanted to believe. I wanted to have hope. I wanted to see a reason to live. But I saw nothing.
I then believed there was no God, or that knowing whether God existed was itself unknowable. I hated those who did believe in God. I sank from despair, knowing this world offered no hope whatsoever.
I then believed there is a God. I tried to love everyone ... but I hated those who didn't. I struggled horribly with this. I tried to turn the other cheek; I failed, constantly.
No matter what I believed, I was endlessly plagued with the thought that I was completely wrong.
I no longer know what I believe. I am lost, confused, free falling with nothing to save me.
I only know this: Without hatred, humanity wouldn't exist in any recognizable form. It's our lifeblood. We detest those who believe differently from us on any issue. One need only examine the fierce invective hurled at anyone who dares believe differently from anyone on anything. We'll go to great lengths to deny it, but we love to hate. Republicans hate Democrats. Democrats hate Republicans. Liberals hate conservatives. Conservatives hate liberals. The urban elite hate us knuckle-draggers out here in flyover country. We hate them back.
Bring on the nuclear war. If there is a God, He/She/It will surely send us all to hell, to oblivion, to nothingness. But we deserve to be punished harshly first. Bring on the nukes. Let terror reign from all corners.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment