My battle for mental health

I was diagnosed with depression as an adolescent, and was prescribed meds in my late teens for the first time. It's been a battle ever since, although there have been long periods of stability thanks to the meds and the work of good therapists.

In the past year, depression has hit a new low for me. Triggered apparently by a year of Interferon therapy (for melanoma), the meds that had worked no longer did so, leading to suicidal depths on an ongoing basis. We finally got this thing mostly stabilized, but there are still periods of paranoid despair to be contended with. At least it's no longer a constant.

I thank God for the work of good doctors, for the drugs that are literally saving my life, for a good therapist I'm working with now, for every moment of clarity I get. I thank God for the strength to get up in the morning and do it all over again, and for the patience to see it through even when that's the last thing I want. I thank God for sticking with me, even when I abandon Him, ignore His Spirit's leading and comfort, question my faith, all of it. I thank God for having mercy for one more otherwise lost soul.