faith, life, depression, struggle

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Naked before God

It can be a terrifying thought, and was to me for so long: Standing naked before God, as we always are. He sees all. Knowing this, I long believed, meant that I simply could not believe He could love me, even within Christ. How could God love this guy, the one with wicked thoughts, the one with misanthropic tendencies, the one whose faith faltered at all the wrong times, this sinner?

To be sure, God doesn't love me because I'm a sinner. He loves me anyway, in spite of my sins. He loved me so much He rescued me from my life of destruction, dragging me into His kingdom for His own good pleasure. Because He loved me.

And yes, He surely sees me in Christ now, sees me in terms of what Christ did for even me. But He loves me naked and alone, too, even though I am never truly alone; at my worst, on my face (having fallen there), cold and alone because of my foolish choices ... Yet He is there, not to judge me (even though I am braced for it), but to surprise me anew with His love and mercy.

Of course I don't deserve the least of it. But I receive it gladly, all the more knowing that He who gives love and mercy so freely does so boundlessly because He is able to love what I cannot: even me.

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